What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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