You smell like a Billy Joel song
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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