Nicole vs. Life
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
