Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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