any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
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Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
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Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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