why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
True strength comes from lack of pants
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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