my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
