My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I intend to get homeless drunk
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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