Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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