Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
