We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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