Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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