I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize