i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
