just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
