Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
