My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
