Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
