Will you blow on my dice?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
