He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
