C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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