I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
