Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
