Where is the hickey?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize