Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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