it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
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