I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
