a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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