it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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