Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
