I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
