i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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