As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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