so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
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I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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