I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize