You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
