I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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