Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
