everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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