If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize