How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
