i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
