How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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