And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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