Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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