Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
