No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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