Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
