member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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