Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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