They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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