I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
