Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize