12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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