you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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