Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
