Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
