the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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