What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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